Toddler antics

We all have stories about that time that your jaw dropped to the antics of your oh so loved toddler. Times that your heart sunk to the bottom of your shoes, times that you wanted to scream and cry but didn’t (or did because for a minute you forgot your dealing with a tiny human who didn’t intend to make you feel that way) 

Here are some of mine, made by my son’s over the past few months. Often I was doing house chores or was on the toilet (funny how they always seem to time it around that) 

Something smells fishy. Oh yes, very fishy indeed. My eldest son screamed my name in horror whilst I was upstairs. As I went down, thinking it was just over a toy not being shared again I could hear a strange noise. A very strange noise.. Almost like a waterfall. I started to feel a bit anxious and as I sort of sprinted in the livingroom I was greeted by a very pleased 1 year old, happily splashing away in dirty fish water. Fish water that was being emptied from our 225L tank, from the extraction pipe that he managed to pull out the filter. It took all our towels to dry the floor and 2 good floor scrubs to clear the smell (never hated the sun to help it dry so much) all I went upstairs for was a pair of socks.. 

Curiosity of pushing buttons. Don’t you just love it how curious they are to see cause and effect of buttons and cords they can push and pull. When we walk to nursery my son often all the sudden has to go for a toilet, conveniently when we walk past his fathers office. It is a big converted barn that has many important business meetings and holds all sorts of different small offices. We are always welcome to use the invalid toilet and on our way out he decided to pull the emergency wire. The alarm was deafening and I had no idea how to turn it of. Allot of people came rushing over to see what was wrong, only for him to announce that ‘my mum farted in there!’ (Whaaaaaat!!!! Where on earth did he learn farted from?! At home he uses the word ‘pop’) Needless to say how awkward and embarresed that one turned out.. 

The most shameful happening. I don’t think it would be fair to tell you my most shocking or embarrassing happening without telling the one I am most horrified with. I was doing the dishes and had my youngest not playing to far away from me with his cars. I noticed it turned a bit too quiet for my liking so as I looked over I see two abanded cars. I can hear one of the girls in their litter box and do a step back to see, only to find out it was not one of my cats.. There he was, sitting down, digging a hole in the litter with one hand (aaaaaaaaaaaaah noooooo!!!) and in my horror in his other hand (oh my god, no please don’t let it be!) he was trying to knead cat poo as if it was playdoh. This was my moment where I screamed, I was mortified. The kid is kneading poo! How on earth… So yes, his hands got thoroughly cleaned, three times, and he got a bath. And then I cleaned his hands again. 

So there it is, it’s not a long list, but let’s make sure another doesn’t happen as I write this.